Oh man, I think those chicks on the sidewalk up ahead are hot. Yes, they're definitely hot. I can tell by the shape of the back of their heads. I bet they'd really like to see me do a wheelie on this chrome steed which glistens beneath my crotch like a diamond broomstick.
I wonder if I should start my wheelie right now, and ride past them in wheelie position -- or -- should I wait, and lift up into wheelie position right as I pass by. I think I'll wait. No, I'll start the wheelie now. Here goes...
Hmmm. I think I may have started this wheelie too soon. They're still like two more blocks away. Maybe I should go back to traditional riding position and then re-pop this wheelie later. Then again, now I'm almost there. I guess I'll just keep riding for a second. Oh wait, here they come. Alright, nice. It's go time.
Oh yeah, what up now, lady friends? I am riding a wheelie right by your faces. I bet you are sensually aroused currently, aren't you? In case you were wondering, A. Yes I am a badass. B. Yes, I work out a shitload, and C. my genitals are sizable.
Oh wait a sec. I think that might not have been women. Oh no, that was definitely 2 dudes. And one of them was about 75 years old. Wait, I think that might have been my grandpa. Oh no, that was definitely my grandpa. I recognize that sweater I gave him. He looked so hot from 2 blocks away.
Well, now I feel stupid. I guess I should just keep riding this wheelie in the hopes that I will eventually pass a hot chick. Oh, nice, there's one. Wait that's just a homeless guy wearing a fur coat. Well, maybe he'll be intimidated by my wheelie. Oh no, he's not even looking at me, he's yelling at some geese.
Well, this is awkward. At this point I guess I'd look stupid if I stopped wheely-ing. Especially before even a single hot babe has a chance to see me gliding through air on one wheel like a chrome unicorn from a book of ancient lore.
I'm hungry. I wonder If there's anything to eat around here. I'm kind of in the mood for Mexican. I think there's a taco bell somewhere around here. I'm going to have to slow down if I want to wheelie through the drive thru. I think I'll get a beef meximelt, or maybe one of those hard tacos wrapped in a soft taco with a candy treat in the center.
2 comments:
Hutch, sometimes while motorcycling your underwear decide to hide up your butt (also known as wedgies). Popping wheelies is how this common motorcycling affliction is dealt with, nothing more to it, nothing less.
You write very well.
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