Scenarios Where You're Like "Damn, I Wish I Had My Hand Sanitizer"

A dumptruck full of baby goats breaks down on some railroad tracks. You spring into action, but the latch to the dumptruck won't give. It's jammed up with a wad of matted fur, goat cheese and axle grease. You lift the goats out one at a time. It sounds like one of them has a cold. You remember you're supposed to meet your boss to discuss "the big promotion" over some chips and salsa in just a few minutes.

On the deck of an aircraft carrier, you are doing a bunch of push ups to intimidate the other pilots in the Top Gun program. Around number two hundo, you pop up to your feet, and are congratulated by your peers. Some of them give you a simple high fives, some high tens. A few of them give you the high ten that resolves in a swooping, sweaty second clap down low. A few of them just got done eating a bunch of Cool Ranch Doritos. Suddenly, you feel an eyelash poking in the corner of your eye. It's really uncomfortable.

It's the first night of your prison sentence, and something gross brushes against the back of your hand in the dark.

You and a prostitute you met in a boxcar are in the middle of robbing some graves. The ghost of a really fat guy rises up out of the ground and gets ghost sloppy joe meat on you.

A dude named Gary that you "kind of" know is passing around a petition. A petition with a really huge pube on it.

You are a mime doing a bit where you pretend to be entering a window. The pretend window is from a really cute pretend craftsman bungalow built in the 1920s. Even though its all pretend mime stuff, you are kind of freaked out by the fact that there might be lead-based paint present.

You are checking your e-mail at an internet cafe in a leper colony. On a whim, you lift the keyboard of the community computer up to your nose and take in a deep breath. It smells like a pet store.