Some New Concepts for Erectile Dysfunction Pill Commercials

Commercial One: "Starboard"

FADE IN:
A tan, durable-looking senior mans the wheel of an old, sea-beaten sailboat. An off shore gale blows through his rich silver locks. We cut to a close up of his well-worn hands guiding the aged wooden wheel confidently to port. A second second of hands, graceful and feminine, yet showing the same elegant age lines enters frame and interlocks with the captain's. The captain looks back into his wife's eyes with a confident grin as the sea breeze blows through their hair, and the sun warms their backs. We cut to a wide shot of the sailboat cresting over a furious wave, the deck of the ship doused in brine.

DISSOLVE TO:
The two senior citizens engage in graphic sexual intercourse.

FADE OUT

Commercial Two: "Dream Vacation"

FADE IN:
A mid-fifties man and women sit atop an elephant, laughing and smiling in the warm sub-tropical sun. The man carries a "few extra" pounds, but his wife is as graceful and vibrant as the day they met. A local villager passes a coconut up to them. There are two straws poking out from the top. The couple looks tenderly into each other's eyes as they take a refreshing sip. The elephant curls its trunk back and squirts some water in the man's face. Everyone shares a good laugh.

CUT TO:
It is night now, and the couple is taking shelter in a yurt. A medicine man passes them the burning stem of an unfamiliar plant. They inhale deeply, while exchanging romantic glances by the flickering light of the fire.

DISSOLVE TO:
The couple is now completely naked and smeared in mud, at times fornicating, at times just pawing at each others' faces like wild panthers. Their eyes are black coals, like a snowman's. In the corner of the yurt, the ghastly apparition of a she-wolf waves a crystal scepter over the proceedings.

Commercial Three: "Weekend Warriors"

Two adventure-seeking Baby Boomers sit in the cargo hold of a large plane, dressed in snow white skydiving gear, their feet strapped to skyboards. On the cue of the plane captain, they jump out of the hatch and into the cloud-kissed blue sky. After some synchronized board spins and hand-held tandem moves, the scene becomes foreboding as a Soviet MiG buzzes the couple. Breaking formation, the husband dive bombs his skyboard in the direction of the bogey. Punching through the glass fighter jet cockpit, he pulls the terrorist Soviet pilot up onto the fuselage and breaks his neck with his bare hands, like a rag doll.

CLOCK WIPE TO:
Camera pans down from two parachutes entangled in a palm tree to the fit couple on a sandy desert beach. They are doing it (big time).

CUT TO:
An admiral on a battleship off the coast of the desert island lowers his binoculars, stands at attention and salutes.


Commercial Four: "¡Baile!"
A senior citizen juggles and kicks a soccer ball through different parts of Rio De Janeiro. Visible beneath his white Umbro soccer shorts is a pronounced, inappropriate erection.