Concerning My Playgirl Spread

My Playgirl spread will be tastefully presented and abundant, like a banquet table set before the nobles of a faraway fiefdom.

My Playgirl spread will lie upon the page with the subtle grace and elegance of a Japanese watercolor, my vast C and B flowing across the landscape like a willowy brushstroke.

IMPORTANT: My Playgirl spread is not for pregnant women, or anyone with a history of heart conditions.

What's that sound? It's my Playgirl spread shuffling gently in the heather, the morning dew fresh upon its pages, catching the light just so. Well hello Mrs. Callahan, doesn't the honeysuckle smell lovely this morning? Why yes, I'd love to try some of your fresh peach cobbler.

My Playgirl spread is open to several interpretations.

My Playgirl spread has worked tirelessly to give back to the community from which it was raised. I bet you wonder where the money for that fancy new swingset came from. The answer is My Playgirl Spread Foundation, the chairman of its board of directors being none other than my Playgirl spread.

My Playgirl spread scored a perfect 1600 on its SATs.

My Playgirl spread takes impossible twists and turns into infinity, like the collected works of M.C. Escher.

My Playgirl spread has been successfully used in hostage negotiations, and as a means of expelling third world dictators from their fortified military compounds.

My Playgirl spread is a window into dimensions as yet unspoken of in peer-reviewed scientific journals, but commonly understood to exist nonetheless.